Screen play notes and comments

Caught In The Act 

Why is it important to keep the secret a secret?

Because somebody could steal it/it’s dangerous.

Why is it important to tell people about it?

Because otherwise Andy will start to look suspicious.

Where can the audience step in?

Much of the shots can be from Darren’s POV. Andy is very rarely off-screen.

Describe the lighting of the room.

Make Darren want to see the novel. Have him look more suspicious/curious.

There needs to be something to indicate that they’re friends rather than just two people who work in the same house. Darren could have a screensaver on his laptop of him and Andy. Darren can also add “You can tell me”.

It could start off with Darren making his way into the house after having been out somewhere. Where has he been? What has he been doing?

Darren has been at an interview. So he is wearing a formal suit, making him look more authoritative. In contrast, Andy can be more simply dressed.

Darren could startle Andy as he is working on his novel.

Andy could be in the room, and Darren is the one to come in. Andy could look startled and unstable from Darren’s presence. Darren opens the door without knocking, implicating that the house is a comfort zone. Andy could say “Don’t enter without knocking”. David can either open the curtains some more or turn on a light, as he is suspicious that the room is dark.

Be more descriptive when it comes to body language. Indicate actions though…don’t say them.

Darren could threaten Andy by saying “”, strengthening the impact of consequences.

If Darren wasn’t in the novel, what would happen?

The novel could be about him, and there’s the risk that Darren would be offended. The novel could be do to with their lives. It could be offensive and Andy doesn’t want Darren to see it.

Andy and Darren can be brothers. (Alex and Jeff)

We may have to cut down on the dialogue.

How is the audience going to tell that they’re brothers?

The novel’s working title should be “A Tale Between Two Brothers”, but it should only be shown at the end. The first lines should be: “I wish he was aborted”, “I wish the condom had never split”.